were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
