I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I wish there were birth control emojis
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
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