This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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