The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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