HIV tests are more positive than that guy
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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