He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You've changed since you got that strap on
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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