i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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