3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
