Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
