Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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