I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Can Purell be used as lube?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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