I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
