i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
