He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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