just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
