this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
