that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize