After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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