I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
farters have to be the big spoon...
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just high enough for therapy.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
