I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
