apparently the secret to your success is patron
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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