Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Randomize
