My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
