Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
