If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
