i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
