in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
