I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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