can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
