I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
