Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
