I would go down on you faster than GM stock
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
