somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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