i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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