if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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