We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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