I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
