wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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