WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
