I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
