There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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