Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
wow bdsm is so cute
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
