white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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