i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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