just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
