Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
