You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
