I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Never let your siblings swipe right.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
