In the future we'll all be gay
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Someone came in the potted fern
whose parrot is this?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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