I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
