my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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