I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
