he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Randomize
