just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Need sex. Gaining weight.
He kissed a someone with a penis
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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