I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
