He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Randomize
