is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think I won the penis lottery.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
