He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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