"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
BRING THE BAGELS
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
