And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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