I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's blow job season.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
