this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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