No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
