Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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