I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
