I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
