whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize