Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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